When Someone Dies

Immediate family and close friends — the people who need to know now, not tomorrow.

Their employer — if they were working. Their HR department will handle benefits, final paycheck, and any life insurance through work.

Their doctor or hospice provider — to get the death pronounced and begin the death certificate process.

A funeral home — but only when you're ready. You do not have to use the first one you call. You can and should compare prices.

Their insurance company — if they had life insurance. The policy number is usually on the policy document or in their files. You'll need a death certificate to file a claim.

Order at least 10-12 certified copies. Every bank, insurance company, retirement account, mortgage company, and government agency wants an original certified copy — not a photocopy. Each certified copy costs $10-25 depending on your state. The funeral home usually orders them for you through the vital records office. Running out and having to reorder later takes weeks and costs more. It's one of the most common mistakes families make.

The average traditional funeral with burial costs $8,300. A funeral with cremation averages $6,300. Direct cremation (no viewing, no service) can cost as little as $1,000-3,500. These are median national figures — your area may be higher or lower.

The FTC Funeral Rule protects you. Federal law requires every funeral home to:

• Give you a written, itemized General Price List (GPL) — for free, no questions asked
• Let you buy only the services you want — you do not have to accept a package
• Give you prices over the phone if you ask
• Accept a casket or urn you bought elsewhere — and they cannot charge a fee for it
• Tell you that embalming is not required by law in most cases

What this means for you: call 2-3 funeral homes and ask for their GPL before committing to anything. Funeral homes that pressure you, refuse to give prices, or tell you embalming is "required" are violating federal law. You can report violations to the FTC at 1-877-FTC-HELP.

Social Security Administration — Call 1-800-772-1213. If the person was receiving benefits, those stop. Surviving spouses and dependent children may qualify for survivor benefits. If a lump-sum death benefit ($255) is available, you need to file for it — it doesn't come automatically.

Their bank and credit card companies — To freeze accounts and prevent fraud. You'll need a death certificate. Joint accounts usually stay accessible to the surviving owner.

Their landlord or mortgage company — A lease doesn't automatically end when someone dies. Most states require written notice and a death certificate. Check the lease terms.

Their health insurance — If you were covered under their plan, you may qualify for COBRA (continued coverage for up to 36 months, but you pay the full premium). You typically have 60 days to elect COBRA.

Their car insurance, utilities, subscriptions — Cancel anything in their name that's still billing. Check their bank statements for recurring charges.

Credit bureaus — Request a deceased alert from all three bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion) to prevent identity theft against the deceased person's name.

Work: There is no federal law requiring bereavement leave. Many employers offer 3-5 days paid bereavement for immediate family. Check your employee handbook or ask HR. If you need more time, FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act) may apply if the death causes a serious health condition requiring your care — but it doesn't cover grief itself. Some states (California, Illinois, Oregon, others) have their own bereavement leave laws.

School: Contact your dean of students or advisor. Most colleges have bereavement policies that excuse absences and allow extensions on assignments. You don't need to provide details — a death certificate or obituary is sufficient. If you're struggling academically after the loss, ask about an incomplete grade rather than failing.

If they had a will: The will names an executor (the person responsible for carrying out their wishes). The executor files the will with the local probate court. Probate is the legal process of distributing someone's assets. It can take months to over a year depending on complexity.

If they didn't have a will: State law determines who inherits (usually spouse first, then children, then parents). The court appoints an administrator. This takes longer and costs more.

Some things skip probate entirely: joint bank accounts, retirement accounts and life insurance with named beneficiaries, property held in joint tenancy, and assets in a living trust. These pass directly to the named person.

What you need to know right now: Don't throw away any mail for at least a year. Bills, tax documents, and account statements will keep arriving. Open everything. You need to file their final tax return for the year they died (due by the normal April deadline).

Social media: Facebook and Instagram allow you to memorialize or delete an account. Google has an Inactive Account Manager that lets users pre-set what happens. Apple has a Digital Legacy program. Each platform has a specific process — search "[platform name] deceased user" for instructions.

Email: Their email may contain important account information, bills, and subscriptions. If you can access it, use it to find accounts that need to be closed.

Phone: Keep the phone active for a few weeks if possible. Two-factor authentication codes may be needed to access their accounts.

Subscriptions and auto-payments: Check their bank and credit card statements for recurring charges. Cancel streaming services, gym memberships, cloud storage, app subscriptions, and anything else still billing.

Obituaries are public. Scammers read them. Common scams include: fake debt collectors calling to say the deceased owed money (you are generally not responsible for a parent's debt unless you co-signed), fake charities asking for donations "in their memory," and burglars targeting the family home during the funeral. Be skeptical of any unsolicited contact in the weeks after a death.

This is one of the most important things to understand. If a parent or family member dies with debt, that debt is paid from their estate (their money and assets) — not from your pocket. Debt collectors may call you, but in most cases you are not legally obligated to pay unless you were a co-signer, joint account holder, or a spouse in a community property state. Do not agree to pay anything until you understand your legal obligations. If in doubt, consult a legal aid office — many offer free consultations.

You might feel fine for weeks and then fall apart in a grocery store. That's normal. There is no correct timeline and no correct way to grieve. If you're a young adult who lost a parent, know that your friends probably don't know what to say — that doesn't mean they don't care. If grief is affecting your ability to function at work or school for more than a few weeks, talking to a counselor isn't a sign of weakness — it's practical, the same way this checklist is practical. Many employers offer free counseling through EAP (Employee Assistance Programs), and most colleges offer free sessions through their counseling center.